Three Elves in a Trenchcoat

I read horror throughout the year, but in honor of Spooky Season, here is this month’s horror/dark reading list and a short review of each:

1. A Lesson in Vengeance by Victoria Lee
2. The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson
3. Night of the Mannequins by Stephen Graham Jones
4. My Heart is a Chainsaw by Stephen Graham Jones
5. Diavola by Jennifer Thorne
6. Dracula by Bram Stoker

A Lesson in Vengeance is a dark, mysterious tale full of twists that I finished in less than two days. I was wholly enraptured. The question of the main character’s reliability really brings out the air of confusion, uneasiness, and paranoia. And, did I mention, tragic romance? Tragic lesbian romance? Bonus points for literary puns and references that joyed my English major heart. No dogs die, but a coyote is shot, and that’s pretty damn close.

The Haunting of Hill House is a modern classic that has me questioning my own sanity because I related to the main character far too much. Unreliable narration and unanswered questions about the ‘haunting’ make this story sit with you for weeks after reading it. No dogs die.

If you’re looking for a short slasher read that still manages to have vibrant characters and a compelling story, look no further than Night of the Mannequins. From the author of The Buffalo Hunter Hunter and The Only Good Indians comes a comedic yet violent, mortifying tale that, in my own opinion, is the perfect ‘anti-coming-of-age’ story. As always, Jones’s narration is familiar in dialect and draws you right into the story, making the characters feel like old friends. Dogs die.

Another of Stephen Graham Jones’s work, My Heart is a Chainsaw pays homage to ‘the Golden Age of Slashers’, or that period in the 1980s when every weekend, a new slasher hit the box office. The main character, Jade, uses the lens of slasher films to navigate life in her small town. She’s the town goth, a horror girl, who struggles to fit in due to a rocky home life and half-native heritage in a predominantly white town. Funny, witty, and oh-so-campy, this story will have horror fans cackling and cheering on this new take of ‘the final girl’. As always, Jones delivers a story that is gory, haunting, and yet somehow heartfelt as well. No dogs die.

Jones deserves his own post on this blog. I love his work. Hell, The Buffalo Hunter Hunter deserves its own post, too. I’m obsessed.

Diavola started as a typical ‘haunted house’ story that quickly turned into something deeper and more sinister. Perhaps the most horrifying part of the story is the main character’s self-absorbed family, but there is plenty of paranormal activity to boot. Another allegory for mental health with a semi-unreliable narrator, this book is a fun read with references to the artwork of the Italian Renaissance. I originally picked this one out of my ‘recommended’ tab because my own family has a ‘haunted vacation home’ story. Maybe I’ll turn that into a story someday. Numerous cats and other small animals die.

And finally, Dracula. The story that introduced so many classic horror figures: The vampire, the vampire hunter. Renfield, Van Helsing. The inspiration of Nosferatu (and the cause of that studio’s bankruptcy following its being sued by Stoker’s widow in the mid 1920s). I read it in high school but did not appreciate it nearly as much as I should have. A socio-political commentary, as all horror is, this story is witty and relevant and continues to be a literary masterpiece. An inspiration of numerous outbursts from myself, namely:

1. Dracula would make a great solicitor (ie, a bloodsucking lawyer)
2. Stoker you horndog
3. He’s yours? Ha. Gayyyyy.
4. Three men proposing in one day? Jesus. I’d be in a psych ward from that.
5. The most unrealistic thing about this novel so far is three men taking rejection gracefully.
6. Oh my god, they’re lesbians.
7. They have more chemistry with each other than they ever did with their husbands.
8. LET THEM BE LESBIANS DAMNIT
9. Renfield? Renfield is a part of this now?
10. The most horrifying part of this story is the dead mastiff. Who killed the fucking dog? Dracula killed the fucking dog? Eating humans I can forgive, but a dog?
11. (After the man at the old sailor’s funeral kicks his dog) I HOPE DRACULA EATS YOU! YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!
12. Van Helsing? Dear god, how did I not remember that.
13. I take back my comment about the graceful rejections. Whatever the hell these ‘transfusions’ are, that is way more unrealistic. Plot twist: Lucy was never truly that ill, rather, she was killed by a non-compatible, non-sterile blood transfusion. Or, rather, four of them, though anaphylaxis should’ve set in a lot sooner than that.
14. It’s a blood transfusion, not sex! (Come to think of it, though, sex could be reduced to a mere transfer of fluids from one body to another, if the romance side of things was disregarded. I’m certain this was intentionally written as such. No doubt Stephanie Meyer took this literally.)

As you can see, dogs die and are actively abused in the novel. Discretion is advised.

Note: I put the ‘dead dog’ warnings there because I skip over any scene where a dog or innocent animal dies. I even skipped the horse’s death scene when watching The Witcher Season 1. I refuse to watch A Quiet Place (whichever one is the most recent) because of the cat, and I won’t read Pet Sematary. I will never kill a dog in a story, or any other companion animal.

Additional note: The fey creature that was hit by Clea’s van in The Otherworld Chronicles doesn’t count, but I still cried while writing it.